There are days, particularly in the last few weeks, when I feel like knocking myself unconscious while my son throws a tantrum.  My son is already 3 years old. I must admit that dealing with him and handling his tantrums get really challenging as the days go by.  So how do I manage to actually keep my good sense all this time? Here are some ideas which I hope can help you as well in keeping up with your kid’s “kakulitan”:

1.   Wasting time with my kid.  Kids generally get cranky because of some needs that are not met. In the case of my son, he usually throws a fit whenever I’m unable to give him my undivided attention.  I am my son’s constant playmate and he usually expects me to be as involved in our activity as he is. Though it may seem boring for me to shoot hoops or re-arrange bowling pins for long periods of time, my son really loves playing these games, and I just have to accept that. And that’s what I’ve been aiming to do the past few weeks… trying to enjoy the activities that matters most to my son and pushing off my mind such thoughts as “I’d rather do something more productive,” or “I’m wasting a lot of precious time playing these silly games...”   "Wasting" time with my son may not sit well with my own leisure activities, but it does make wonders for keeping him smiling and in good mood for most part of the day.

2.  Toddlers = Mess and Chaos.   Especially since my toddler is a boy. Rubber balls, pebbles, and small cars scattered all over is but a natural scene in our household.  I’m one person who could hardly move and work in messy areas, so my son’s mess is simply irritating. BUT, I’ve learned to live with the fact that seeing all these “kalat” is a big part of having a kid around. I get consolation from the fact that at least my son knows how to clean up his mess and actually helps in doing the chore, albeit not all the time.

3.  Accept that kids have no sense of time yet.  Making a schedule and expecting everyone, including a little kid, to follow it to the dot, spells DISASTER.  I’m such an obsessive-compulsive planner and I like keeping things on schedule, but motherhood forced me to rethink my ways and adjust to my son’s erratic schedule. This adjustment is still a work in progress for me coz I’m really OC about schedules, but at least I’m trying hard. It’s not easy, but it will do well for my sanity.

4.  Blogging.  In other words, get an outlet. De-stress yourself. I don’t have much time to spare for a relaxing massage so blogging has become my haven.

5.  Getting enough rest.  Dealing effectively with my son takes a lot of my mental and physical energies, so getting enough rest is really a must. I used to work in front of my PC or watch TV till past midnight, but that usually drains out my energy reserves which I should allot for my son.  Everyone gets cranky when sleep-deprived, and I’m no exception. So I now try to get at least 6-8hours of sleep everyday. Not an easy thing to do for a perennial “puyatera” like me, but it’s better than having to engage in “shouting matches” with my son the next day.

6.  Prayers.  I used to think that “when all else fail… pray.”  But prayer is no longer my last resort; it has become my daily armor. Everyday, I pray that my son will have fewer tantrums and will not become more makulit than I could ever handle. Everyday, I pray for an understanding and forgiving heart.  Everyday, I pray for inner strength to resist the urge to hurt my kid – and myself -- in any way.

Any more suggestions?

While I was still pregnant with Matt and after giving birth to him, I remember getting hooked to watching American Idol season 4 --- the one that introduced Carrie Underwood and Bo Bice to the entire planet. For the past 3 years, I have been able to give up watching my favorite shows in favor of motherhood, with the exception of American Idol.

So it’s not surprising that Matt soon caught the AI fever. In fact, my addiction to AI may have greatly influenced my son’s fondness for music. He’s just as mesmerized whenever we would watch the show together.

As he grew older, he had come to understand that whenever the show goes on air, he can’t disturb Mommy that much and he’ll have to play by himself for about an hour. Lately, each time he would see me tuned in to the show, he’d say, “Oh! That one, that one! It’s the Singing Big People!” then he’ll take the remote control from my hand and hide it somewhere to ensure that I won’t be switching channels anymore…. hehehe.

Last Thursday afternoon, while I was watching the rerun of the previous night’s performances featuring songs by Dolly Parton, Matt suddenly felt the urge to move his bowel. I hurriedly escorted him to the toilet and after I made sure he’s comfortably settled on the toilet bowl, I went back to the sala to catch Jason Castro’s rendition of Travelin’ Through. After a while, I heard some noise coming from the toilet so I went in to check on my son.  He was still seated on the bowl, but he was also happily clapping and grooving to the beat of Jason’s song, as if he was part of the show’s live audience who was clapping to the beat as well. When he saw me, he said, “Mommy! Let’s clap, it’s the music!” So I clapped along while laughing hysterically! Jason Castro may be cool and cute, but my son is so much more adorable, haha!

Last night, while I sat in front of the TV set watching the AI performances, Matt suddenly blocked my view and began singing to my face, “Little Sparrow…. Little Sparrow…”  He loves David Cook as well, hahaha….

Over a month ago, I got confined in a hospital for a minor procedure.  My OB-Gyne assured me that I can go back to my normal activities a day after the procedure (done on a Friday) but my mom insisted that I take complete rest for the entire weekend, which wasn’t a bad thing because I was also groggy from all the anaesthesia and other medications. So for two days, I stayed in my bed most of the time, with my hubby and my folks taking turns in attending to Matt. 

However, as the weekend drew to a close, I started to get back on my feet because my “yayas” will already be reporting for work the next day and I have no choice but to take care of my son again. I guess staying in bed for two days made me groggier than ever. By Monday morning, I still felt very weak. Most of the time, I’d  find myself lying down on the mattress inside Matt’s playroom, and my son still had to coerce me to sit up and play with him. Matt easily got bored playing with me and I felt really sorry for him and for myself as well.

Not wanting to completely dampen my son’s spirits who was then turning a year older in a few days, I immediately thought of something to inject some fun in our otherwise lackluster playtime.  While he was playing with his toy train, I playfully blocked with my hand one portion of the train track then hastily removed it a second before the train could touch my hand, and I even made a gasping sound to make it appear I was stunned. Matt giggled. I did this several times over and in no time, Matt was laughing hysterically! I had to laugh myself, not only because Matt has this very infectious laugh, but because I was very pleased that I was able to put him back on a cheerful mode even if I was lying down listless on the mattress the whole time.

That night, while I was singing to him the theme song from Thomas and Friends (his lullabye nowadays), I began changing the tone of my voice, suddenly using a low tone then quickly switching to a high-pitched tone. This amused Matt all the more, and even kept him awake for a few minutes longer than usual… much to my dismay, hehe. But I was just happy for the fact that he’s still having fun playing with his sick mommy.

Moral of the story? Kids have simple joys and more often than not, they are very easy to please. Not even the most expensive toys or the craziest kiddie show can make them laugh so hard than their “playmates” who make an effort in immersing themselves to their “world.” We, fellow parents/caregivers, are kids’ most favorite toys, if only we just allow ourselves to be that way.

As sang in the Barney show: “Hahaha, hihihi, come on get silly and laugh with me…”